I have learned over time that one of my favorite things to do is find people I have been out of touch with for many years. The neat thing is that I have discovered that I am quite good at it. Sometimes we exchange an email or two to catch up and sometimes we renew a long lost friendship. I’ve never been good at keeping in touch and through the years, I have made very dear friendships and I haven’t been the best at nurturing them. So it’s almost always my neglect that has caused a friendship to wane so most of my old friends probably wouldn’t want to find me because they most likely figure I wouldn’t care to talk to them again. My aunt told me a while back that as she’s gotten older friends she hasn’t even thought about for decades have come out of the woodwork wanting to reconnect. She thought it was cool, but odd, however, since I’m often a friend coming out of the woodwork, I appreciated hearing what it was like from her point of view.
A couple of years ago I found my bff from junior high whom I had not spoken to in about 30 years. She had been married twice and moved to a different state and doesn’t even use the internet. It was very hard to find her. I had been looking for at least 20 years. My son, Michael was born on her 18 birthday, and by that time I had already lost touch with her. I am so glad I found her though, because we were really able to pick up where we left things. It has been clear to both of us that the connection that led us to become friends was still there.
When my cousin Amy was a baby she was adopted by my aunt and uncle who both recently died. Her real dad was also my uncle but Amy didn’t know about that until she was nearly grown. Her adopted mom never let her have any communication with her biological parents. Recently both her adoptive parents died and although she’s 31 years old she felt orphaned. Her biological dad died years ago and I’ve been looking for her mom for a few years. I guess the timing was right because we her mom for her this weekend. This one was very easy though because Amy had her last name and the names of her brothers and her brother was on myspace. The poor kid is only 15 years old and Amy and I sent him messages about her trying to find her family and he didn’t know what to think about all that! In our defense his profile did say he was 18 so we weren’t deliberately overwhelming a kid with tmi!! So Amy got to talk to her mom for the first time in her adult life. She talked to her a couple of times after she learned she was adopted, but when her adoptive mom found out she put a stop to it. For Amy something really was missing all of her life. Her biological mom loved her dearly and never wanted to give her up permanently. But while she was getting her life together Amy and her adoptive parents were bonding and becoming a family. So she completely unselfishly allowed her daughter to stay with the family she knew even though I know it ripped her heart out.
But the timing is so perfect for Amy to reconnect with her mom, three brothers and step dad. They are all the greatest people and Amy will have years to share with her family. She was raised as an only child and now she has three brothers and a niece!
I’m just so happy I was happy to share a part in this reunion. Finding people is fun, but this has to be the most rewarding, so far. I’ll edit and add pics when I get some. I just thought this was a happy story and would be a good blog. I hope you enjoyed it!